Thursday, 14 January 2016

Battle on planet Bdroom!!!

Hi, how are you?.....Doing well I hope?.....Nothing to complain about?.....Wife not giving you the shits?......Good, that's great news, let's begin :)

I've only written up three Rogue Trader battle reports so far, and they've all been played against my long time buddy from primary school. My son has joined in on two of them, but he was put off playing half way through one of them by the complexity & constant scanning the rule book (anyone who's ever played RT can sympathise) to find the ever elusive rule that you can never remember. But the next one we played with him we simplified the rules quite a bit....and he enjoyed that a whole lot more.

So, fast forward six months, my son has just finished his Xmas holidays, during which time we played a few simplified games of RT together. One we played on his large whiteboard, drawing a map of a cave system on it as he progressed. The next, we played on my small white board that I'd grassified a few years back, just for small skirmish battles. And finally, we played on his bedroom floor....where all boyhood games begin. And so, the latter of these battles is the setting of today's batrep.

The Scenario:

An Ultramarine forward contingent have been slowly gaining the trust of the inhabitants of the planet Bdroom over the last year. This small planet, with no real monetary wealth, has an over abundance of muscle i.e. Ogres. Which they are trying to coerce into the service of the emperor.

But, unlike other settlements that they have been to on this planet, the locals didn't seem too impressed with this "emperor god". Something to do with a shrivelled up dude kept alive be devouring humans by the bucket load sorta turned them off the idea. Strangely though, a couple of the villagers noticed a dash ornament on the bonnet of the Ultramarine's transport and they thought it must be another one of their Gods. They seemed so taken with this "deity" that they began falling over themselves to get a better look at it.

The Ultramarine's, far from home & the prying eyes of any nosey Inquisitors, thought that if they played up this new "deities'" importance to them then they might be able to get what they wanted. So, they travelled back into the city centre, removed a local statue that nobody seemed to care about & set to work re-working him into the same dash ornament, but in life size.

Upon presenting it to the villagers they fell completely under the spell of the Marines. For they had promised them that if they served the Ultramarine's with unquestioning loyalty they would get a chance to meet this God. in person! That was it, the Ogre's were now theirs to command.

Meanwhile, wandering across the vast emptiness that is planet Bdroom in his Walker, looking for more helpless settlements to raid, Thrugg happened across another wrecking machine plying it's trade, a small Khornate warband. He was so impressed with their bloodthirsty devotion to their work that he thought it best if they enjoyed their shared interests together. And after a short introduction (or fight, it was hard to tell) between the two leaders they decided to smash shit up together....awesome!!!!!

Thrugg had heard about an Ultramarine force about a days journey away that had plonked a large statue of a God in a village town square. This sounded like something he'd like to steal & the Khornate wrecking crew were more than willing to kick in a few of those prissy boy Ultramarine's skulls given half a chance. And so they headed off together in the direction of the village.

The protagonists:

"The Village people", pushed around by me:

2 squads of Ultramarine's, 
2 Dreadnoughts,
4 Ogres
and a  bunch of Yokels

"The Gatecrashers", pushed around by my son:

2 squads of Khornate Marines,
2 squads of Orks,
1 Walker,
1 Siege Dreadnought.

The objective:

The Village people had to prevent the invaders from taking the statue out of the village boundary....simples.

Game on! 

The peaceful village of Bdroom....laid out on my sons' bedroom floor.

The idol of "Rock on" will remain in Bdrooms' courtyard forever  more....amen.

Whereas this bunch of ne'er-do-wells has a different objective in mind.

Thrugg bellows to his mob "Bring me dat metal man, or else!"

Khornate traitor marines & Thruggs' crew approach the village, eager to revel in the carnage together.

"Your gunna eat metal fist soon az you stik your ed round ere!"

"Nice'n shady undu vis twee....fink I'll stay ere for a wile :)"

"Vey can't see me ere"

"Let's test the wall's strength"

"Arrhh fuuuck!!! Get down Bill & Ted!"

"Errr, do you fink it's safe here?"

"Kaboooom!!!!" Two marines managed to escape from the wall, moments before it was punched into oblivion.

The Ogre that "couldn't be seen" was seen by a squad of Orks....and died :(

The Evil doers smashed their way into the village. Will the Inhabitants be able to repel them?

A brave (or stupid?) Ogre rushes the Siege Dreadnought, while the Walker decides to introduce his foot to an old cottage.

This single rocket ended the Dreads' "wall smashing" days.

Much to the surprise & dismay of the people huddled behind the building, they were showered with debris....killing quite a few of them.

Hammeroid charged the two Ultramarine dreads'.

Only to be undone by that pesky rocket launcher dude, damn you!!!!

The marines managed to cut down a few of the unwelcome visitors to Bdroom, but not enough to dissuade them from entering.

A couple of sneaky marines decide to get up higher so that they may
be able to have a crack at the Walker crew.

Not fast enough to get out of the Walkers way.

The Khornate follower's begin their attack on the right flank. 

The two marines decided to try and "get in" the howdah, but failed :(

An Excalibur moment occurred while the Orks tried to gain entry into the tower.

Running down opponents turned out to be best (and funnest) way to
dispatch the enemy.

Failing to get in the howdah, the marines opted to make a dash for the
roof of the tower. Killing the crew of the Walker seemed the only 
plausible way to stop it.

Meanwhile, an Ogre & dread beat up the leg of the Walker. Making it
leak hydraulic fluid all over it's shiny paint work :(

Another Ogre introduced himself to the Khornate baddies, making a
 lasting impression.

Once again, the kicking attack kept working for the
Walker....Thrugg was well pleased with himself.

The traitors attempted to light up the Ogre, but he enjoyed the
warmth & just laughed in their faces :D

The one time in the entire game that nobody was killed when the
Walker decided to charge them...amazing!

The Khornate guys had quite a bad time for most of the game. Here they were finished off by collective assault from
the Ogre & Ultramarine's.

Followed by another stomp fest from the Walker. Thrugg now had tears of joy running down his battle scared face.

These two Ogres had managed to completely disable the Walkers right leg....immobilising it. 
Immediately after which Thrugg & co. jumped down to deal with. 

Amazingly, both Ogres were dispatched by the two Orks!

The rocket dude had the misfortune of having his magazine
 explode....beside his head. No amount of armour save was
 going to protect him from that.

Thrugg & his chum jumped back into the howdah and rained death onto
 the two remaining marines who had just got into firing position 
on top of the tower...bad luck old chums, bad luck indeed.

Thrugg & his best and only pal, perched upon their disabled Walker, 
surrounded by yokels.....what to do? What to do????

So....with a bit of a stalemate occurring, the villagers decided to do what they love to do most.....

What else could they do?


With nothing left for the townsfolk to damage the Walker with....short of a few farmers axes. And the Walker crew still having full use of their assault cannon, there didn't seem to be a outright winner, so we called it a draw. It was a lot of fun, my son really enjoyed it & he's now nagging me for more. So all in all, it was a great success.

cheers :)


  1. It's a lot easier to play on an uncarpeted floor. Sweet pics, glad Mini Papafakis enjoyed it. How long did you play for? Also how did the cavern game on the big whiteboard turn out?

    1. Hey Iron Spike man :)

      I think we played for about two to three hours? Not sure, about that much anyway.

      Three cavern game was a fantasy game. Mini Papafakis "almost" won that one, but he was a little unlucky with the dice rolls near the end, but it was still fun. I took pics of it, but I'm not sure if I should write it up or not.

      The skirmish board game was an RT one, and he won that one. That was a really quick game... took about an hour to play through.

      How's your painting -or is it "non-painting"- coming along?

      Cheers buddy :)

    2. Its still non painting at the moment. One day I'll get back to the brushes.

  2. Tears of joy and laughter, all your fault !

  3. PSYCHOOOOOOOOOO SAAAAAAAAAM! YES!!!! Excellent battle report I am currently LOLing all over myself. ;)

    1. Hehehe :)

      I'm glad I made you smile....a lot!

      Cheers Airborne.

  4. Your reports are always deliriously awesome, this is not the exception!

    1. Gee, thanks a lot Suber, glad you like'm :)

  5. Ayyyy those D&D card buildings. I have still not put mine together all these years later.

    1. Well spotted James :)

      They were pretty good value IIRC back when I bought them. I've got a tonne of PDF buildings, but still haven't printed them off yet.

      Cheers :)

  6. I used to have the AD&D card castle set. Sadly, it was tossed into the bin years ago. :(

    My, is that a pile of awesome on your bedroom floor.

    Exploding awesome.


    1. It was nice to put a sizable amount of my minis & robots on the "tabletop" as it were. It was a lot of fun.

      Glad that you enjoyed witnessing the destruction of innocent pretend life too :D

      Cheers Composer.

  7. I do love a bit of RT and it's great to see a younger generation be brought into the fold! Top stuff!

    1. My son really got into it & because I've roleplayed with him a few times he's very good at thinking outside the box. He's the one who came up with the idea of trying to jump into the howdah, not me...clever kid :)

  8. Great fun! Good to see Thrugg in his element again =) That's so cool that your boy is into wargames!

    1. Yes, playing wargaming with my son is a nice and subtle way of brainwashing him into becoming my life long opponent...muhahaha!!!!

  9. Hehe - brilliant! FloorWars rock. I do love that slaver walker... Thrugg is one lucky Ork!

    1. Yes, Thrugg had a blast kicking his way through the populace of Bdroom :)

      Thanks for the compliment about the Walker. I'm pretty happy with it too.

      Cheers Mr balloony :)